A Glimmer of Hope through Sadness

Much like the case of William Thompson in The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, I was very intrigued in the case of Clive Wearing. Both suffer from severe amnesia, and both have trouble creating their own identity. However, the case of Clive Wearing becomes almost a hopeful message in Sacks’ article, at least compared to the case study devoted to Willie Thompson. Both patients suffer from retrograde amnesia, leaving no presence of their past lives in their mind, but with Clive, there is an interesting aspect of his illness. Even though Sacks refers to his case as “the worst case” of retrograde amnesia “ever recorded,” Clive is still able to take some emotional baggage with his disease. He remembers his wife, Deborah, and is much more animated and happy when she is around, and also is capable retaining the entirety of his musical prowess he had before his encephalitis. Sacks constantly states that retrograde amnesiacs are unable to retain any true memories, but are capable of picking up on things told to them as stories, thus explaining Clive’s WWII bunker stories. However, Clive’s musical ability, as well as the knowledge and love of his wife, does not come from his procedural memory, but from something more abstract which Sacks calls emotional memory. Thus brings up the question of Clive’s soul: does he have one? When Sacks asked the sisters at the hospital about Thompson’s soul, they were not eager to answer too quickly. Willie’s memory was so shot that he had to keep a constant narrative running in his head; a vague attempt at memory. Although troublesome to analyze because I do not have retrograde amnesia, I must argue that Willie’s, as well as Clive’s “souls” are intact. Although Willie’s predicament seems far worse, as he is unable to remember anything at all, and has no wife or activity to bring him to himself, the mere fact that he keeps his constant guessing-game narrative is a sign that there is some sense of loss. Sacks notes in “The Abyss” that retrograde amnesiacs have no idea that they suffer from amnesia. I would argue with some smidgen of hope that this statement is not true. It is very apparent in Willie’s case study that his narratives always begin with a strong sense of who the person standing in front of him is, but as he continues to guess their identity, and get it wrong, he becomes more and more frustrated and aware of the fact that he cannot remember. Granted, after this goes on for a certain period of time, Willie relapses and goes back to his strong assertions. In the case of Clive, he is unaware that he has no episodic memory, but he is aware that something is wrong. Clive’s wife Deborah notes that in the earlier stages of Clive’s amnesia, he would slowly seep into a depression like state, a “never-ending agony.” The actions of both of these patients shows that there is some resonating feeling of loss present in their minds. Unfortunately for both, it comes in a sad realization that they are losing their memory. Although they do not know this directly, they are certainly aware that something is wrong. This brings me to my next point, which is where this sense of self comes from. What it is in the nature vs. nurture argument that makes the sense of the self so strong that one can realize, even with retrograde amnesia, that something is wrong. Through Sack’s writing, it is not apparent to the reader the extreme emotions presented by Clive because Sacks is constantly describing his witty antics, but through small snippets from Deborah and Clive’s documentary, we do get a side of Clive that is truly upsetting. But this upsetting and unsettling side of Clive becomes a glimmer of hope because there is a chance that the self is there. This argument is solidified by his love for Deborah and for his music. It is unfortunate that the soul must be realized at such great a cost.